Courtney

This is a poem I have written for you
I had hoped that it would express my love so true
Please don’t reject or take offense
I just figured I would avoid the usual nonsense
Like a comparison to your beauty and a flower
Or the womanhood that my manhood could empower
Or some such poesy and pretty metaphor desire
To say that you make me flush like a fire
I wished to know you better than before
But now you are gone and I want you all the more.

Black Metal

Mirror reflection on the

Smooth shape flowing

A wave of black metal

Framing chrome curling

Around each passer by

Moving in his or her own stride

Hot image rising

Over feminine form hazing

Mirage of dark steel

Shimmering on pavement

friend forever

Sometimes in life,

you find a special friend;

Someone who changes your life

just by being part of it.

Someone who makes you laugh

until you can't stop;

Someone who makes you believe

that there really is good in the world.

Someone who convinces you

that there really is an unlocked door

just waiting for you to open it.

This is Forever Friendship.

When you're down,

and the world seems dark and empty,

Your forever friend lifts you up in spirit

and makes that dark and empty world

suddenly seem bright and full.

Your forever friend gets you through

the hard times, the sad times,

and the confused times.

If you turn and walk away,

your forever friend follows.

If you lose your way,

your forever friend guides you

and cheers you on.

Your forever friend holds your hand

and tells you that

everything is going to be okay.

And if you find such a friend,

you feel happy and complete,

because you need not worry.

You have a forever friend for life,

and forever has no end.

A part of you has grown in me,

together forever we shall be,

never apart,

maybe in distance,

but not in heart"

I love you

Evening Falls on Another Day

Evening falls on another day

He’s slowly slipping from my world

Moving on to the next

I take his hand, it’s cool and doesn’t try to hold my own

His gaze rests on me until I smile, then he turns away.

I search for words

In the small time that’s left

I want it to be meaningful

Something that will explain why

But there is only time

to say goodbye.

I find only tears

A dim reflection of what is in my heart

What would I, could I say

I wish I had known you longer,

That there were more good times

I wish we had laughed some more

Stayed in the park in Paris

Along the river’s quiet shore.

If I could I would assure you

That your smile will always remain

Your eyes afire in the sunlight.

A brighter star in the long night

When the breeze moves the wind chimes

I will hear you calling me

My angel.

I find I have shut my eyes

And as I open them your hand

Grows colder in my grasp

And then like the self same whisper

You leave me one last time.

Epitaph

Epitaph

I would have been known like J.R.R.

But lost my path in the boroughs of a forgotten shire.

The words came, except that they flowed only reluctantly

An inconsistent stream of ideas and dialogues

Of unfinished characters and meandering plots.

I died without knowing love save for those quick passions

That fills youth like bottle rockets shooting into the night sky.

I did not find out what the lasting embrace was

Nor the familiar touch.

The meaning now gone as lost relationships that end

In messy fights and tearful disagreements.

I die with no resentments for its loss or the apparent

Lack of its mystery.

I still wish I had but a drop of bittersweet drought of the

Unripened nectar all the same.

I taught in vain.

Who will remember me?

Save for the fact that I once drove a vehicle the same as my name?

And was obnoxious enough to deserve the grudging respect

Of the younger generations I had wished to help mold.

Now the grayness of the uncertain voyage draws nigh

And the fear of parting this life beats my heart to a stop and I look

To the only familiar friend I have known to visit me soon.

Dreams to come

Dreaming

Astral skies filled with bright fiery orbs

Glowing gold against the night sky

Pleasure and Fantasy as the mind dreams

of passion for sleep.

The abyss gapes in her vacant dreams

span the silence of the empty night

Sound like thunder, the lightning screams

over a world beyond sight.

In these dreams we will meet

In the ecstasy of fading sleep

In separate beds and separate sheets

Together in the darkness deep.

My dream reaches out to you

A memory of you in my head

Are you a shadow or some other illusion

Of my own desires?

Mirage

Mirage

Okay, you are walking alone in the desert.

The sun beats down and sweat runs into your eyes

Then out of the heat this woman comes running at you

And you can’t believe it,

Because nothing like this ever happens to you.

Anyway she comes jogging along, her long legs pumping.

And her breasts sway from the left to the right

And your eyes are driven left to the right

And your heart beats in time with her small petite feet.

Her hair is long and blonde and floats out around her head

Her eyes are wide and her lips are lush

Her tee shirt floats up to reveal her tanned navel and down

To her short, short, shorts revealing curvaceous skin

You look left, you look right

And sigh, no one is going to believe this,

Because nothing like this ever happens to you.

She runs all the way up to you and with a smile

She slugs you in the face and yells something like sexist!

And you plunge to the sand, your tongue sticks to your teeth

And she runs away into the haze and shimmering heat.

Dazed and shocked you lie on the hot ground

You look left, you look right

And you know that you aren’t going to believe this

Because this never happens to you.

Desert Desires

I stood on the hot sands looking

from east to the wide open west.

The wind rising from the north to sing south

blowing crystalline tears sparkling in waves

across the shallow dunes.

I realize that I must be along way from my home.

Bagwah, City of Golden Sands, rises out of the night,

promising the treasures of Sharizaddi's thousand and

one nights. Delights undreamed of- fill my thoughts

as before the great gates I fall finding my knees in the

the same hot sands I have crossed.

I feel the might of the Semitic God upon my shoulder

forcing me to bow down as if demanding a prayer,

but the new warmth tells me it is the newborn sun

rising to remind me that I have no more water.

In the silence the thunderous whisper of a memory

reminds me as to what drove me here.

The passion for a woman with dark skin and deep eyes burns hot like the hunger that has brought me to this parched end at a dry oasis, and neither her beauty nor my desire can bring me back to my feet as I pitch forward with one last memory to accompany me into darkness, lust and desire can lead a fool to drink from a poisoned well.

 desire

A really not happy poem

Depression

Like tears on a pillow

like fears hidden away between pages of a book

like the muffled sobs of a girl pretending to be sleeping

like the eyes of a dog as he looks up from the floor

all this and more.

Like a baby nestled safe against the mother-womb

like an emotion stirred from a music on the radio

like shivers across the chill on the skin

like the anguished look on a father's face

all this and more.

Like an overcast day

like a violin's cry on a lonely night

like rain and mist and dew

like the son fallen from grace

all this and more.

Like the murmur from a heart broken girlfriend

like a warm kiss on the hand

like a dream to dark to be believed

like a memory of some action now a regret

all this and more

More than can be said, thought or written

more than I can scream at the heavens

more than I can explain

more than can  be put into a language

all of this and more.

for Victoria Anne-Marie

Song for Victoria




Sleeping Beauty dances only in her dreams
amidst the moonbeams and star falling streams.
Stories are the stuff that dreams are made of
desire, delusions and songs of forbidden love.


Belle loved the Beast but did she love the prince
look at all the things that probably have happened since
fairy tales tell us about the way we want them to be
laughter and illusions and memories of me.


Elphaba never wanted to become a wicked witch
but she knew that fate could be a stretch
Sometimes life over the rainbow is quite hard
musicals, plays and tragedies often change the bard.


Prince Charming was so great he didn't need a name
boys will be boys and men are much the same
A prince is not always so brave and noble as we are told
deceit, distraction and despair has a way of leaving you cold


Be it vampire lover or Superheroic Interest
a flaw is still a flaw and less than the very best
love can be the sweetest lie told to the sincerest heart
fictions are good reminders of actors playing the part


Live in wonder as Belle or Briar Rose would sing about
sometimes truth is out there, someone to care about
Elphaba would tell you that monkeys can actually fly
if you believe in yourself first then perhaps you will
understand why.

death of a man or taking the bullet

Death of a Man

“Oh god I’m dead,” he desperately cried

Looking up at his friend as he bled and died

“My life is over, a ghost to forever wander

On this battlefield of death and plunder.”

His friend held him tightly as his body grew cold

So young he was that his hair was still gold.

His eyes grew dark and his face fell slack

The final shudders wracking his back

The ghost looked down at his corpse lying there

Now seeing his friend close his empty stare

The soldier cradled in the arms of his friend

Singing his own last mass fading into the wind.

“Oh Lord in Heaven, I am cut down in my prime

By the enemy’s bullets before it was my time

Inviting death into my body, the unstoppable flow

My blood falls and stains the muddy snow”

The company laid him out in a shallow grave

Then a murmured prayer for the chaplain so brave.

“Oh merciful God above this war torn sky

Will I be mourned, will anyone know why

I lived and died in service of your son?

Now I wait at the end of my last run.”

Then in a shower of light the ghost was gone

Leaving the helmet and rifle marker in the gray dawn.

“Here lies Father Charles Edmund Glen,

Chaplain of prayer who valiantly took a

Bullet for his best friend.”

Darkness or Rage

DARKNESS

The darkness grows in the mind

something wakes then smiles in kind.

What can move me to write, to see,

this, the sacred side of insanity.

Darkness deepens moving the rage,

I scream, I cry, I am coming of age.

Rage is maddening; the beast calls my name,

Blood in my eyes burn, burning like a flame

"This is madness!" I cry in my pain

fighting this invasion in my brain

Rage now whispers words of the insane

Love has left, anguish only remains

Blood boils, scorching my veins

until this passion peaks then falls like rain

Torrents crashing to a sudden death

leaving me sobbing and gasping for breath.

Emptiness comes in a semblance of sleep

The fury is spent, silence of sheep

Now in my memory the rage burns

guilt like a glutton to twist and turn

The fear of its dreaded return.

Rage now retreats like that of a bad dream

A moment of madness, mist and steam.

My heart bleeds love, and then the moment is lost

Insanity, yes, this is the inevitable cost.

In the darkness the rage returns to the deep

and once again I wake to tremble, to weep

For the darkness takes the man out of me

I must forever watch or it will get free

leaving the beast howling in the night

to hunger, to run, and to fight.

Now consider, this and what I have said

and think on love, lost in the red.

Dedication to Chris Wiener

"This is to those and those like us,

damned few of us left

and most of them dead.

Thank God!"

Crissy

Crissy

What was it about you that pulled me to my feet?

What called out to me that sang this song so sweet?

You were a poem that I have always wanted to write

You are a memory now and almost out of sight.

I wanted to love you but it was not to be

I had to let you loose, to set you free.

I had to lose you before I had begun

I had to mourn you like snow under the sun.

You are my metaphors of flowers in an Elysian field

You were an allusion of desires that I wanted to wield.

We were never to be from the day you were born

Separated by sex, our love forever torn.

Still I look back at your memory and smile

We were two together as friends for awhile.

Knowing you were what I had wished in vain

But I would have had to been woman enough to gain.

For Sophia

Rihannon.

The face, in silence, waits alone for the night,

As darkness claims this waning and shallow light

A stream runs through this scene as is cut by a knife

The ghost-like mist rises in a mad swirl of life

The shadows laugh and mime the trees

The sun vanishes like a thief into the leaves.

The woman, whose face now looks out across the moor

Looking for him to come across the stream to her shore

The blanket of night steals out across the sleeping lands

She lets her hair down, and slowly raises her hands

The faeries come to dance in the silver moonlight

A grand ballet for the still of this, the last night

Her face becomes wet with the dew from the starry sky

The crickets play harmony to the wolf’s lonesome cry

Then she sings her passion in love’s desperate song.

He comes in silence, softly through the spirit throng

She surround by the fauna of the untamable wild

Robed only in beauty, half a woman, half a child

He walks on the water, the grace of a black cat

He moves like the wind, the blur of the winging bat

He comes from the mystery to find her in this place

To capture the moon, steal the stars, end this chase

She gazes up at him, light falls on her silken wings

He whispers to this faerie-

            “Rihannon, I love you.” As she sings

She sings again, lost in the night

For Sophia

Kiss

Kiss

She turned her eyes to gaze

Into my own, deep green fluorescence

Pooled partially hidden behind

Strands of brown sun reflecting hair.

I leaned in closer until the tip of my

Nose brushed against the ridge of hers,

The coolness of contact stops my invasion

Captive by her touch. She breathed softly sending

Warm wisps of humid air flowing across my chin

Her lips parted satin and reached for mine

As her head leaned left, then lips locked

Lips and her nose pressed into my cheek,

Her eyes closed as did mine. Tension

Released as we shared smooth silken

Heat and then time had no meaning

But the embrace was all I had known

Or ever would.

Complexity of Love

Not knowing if I ever will love someone again,

But believing that someone is still out there

To be loved and love back.

Hating my sister for loving her children more than

Me

Loving her for taking my love for her for granted

Knowing that a child will love me even if I don’t like

Him,

Fearing that I have driven away all who would have

Loved me.

BOUNCE

BOUNCE

Yesterday I bounced,

my feet touched the ground as

I jumped down from a step of

my house and I bounced

away into the sky.

Over the cities sprawling

like great dogs sleeping

on the street on a summer afternoon.

When I came down, I bounced,

over the mountains stretching out

like the bones of a great catfish

clawing the sky with it’s ribs.

I bounced and again into the sky

I left the land to cross the waters

as blue as sky yet dark like

a glass of coca cola.

Then I hit the water and bounced off

the back of a very surprised whale

out into the sky, past the clouds

briefly passing a satellite

until I hit earth and the sidewalk

in front of my house.