All I wanted for Christmas...

All that I wanted was to be able to fall into sweet slumber some sleep
all that I wished for was to drift down deep and dream of sheep.
All that I found was the oppressive bleakness the sky so very gray
that Christmas came tromping by without a heyho or much else
to say.

All that I had hoped for was the love of family and those of friends
all that I got was the well wishing that this season always portends.
All that I received was my own mistaken perceptions of endless guilt
carefully laid brick by brick upon the house that misery has built.

All that I found was a morbid roaming sense of wakeful despair
Not that I really knew what I wanted, not that I should really care.
No snow has fallen on this last and all too silent of holy nights,
so many tears, so many fears, so many ways to sink to new heights.

This is when miracles can happen, when all hope seems lost, 
when the truth comes into the light, when you understand the cost.
If you are willing to face your own demons, admit your weakness, atone
All I wanted for Christmas was to feel less then all alone.