Sleeping with Gwen

The soft sad song plays out from the speaker beside my bed,
I lie there awake the refrain repeating inside of my head,
the wait is long, a sweet, endurable, pain, the delay allowed
for the dream to enter my brain. The night comes creeping
silently onto my sheets, warming the blankets, pressing
the pillows, filling the space I vacate underneath.
I feel her press her head against shoulder, entwining
our fingers, tickling my palms, she is there as the darkness
grows colder. She is more of a woman than I ever dreamed
she would be, I wonder- not for the last time what she sees
in me, is this all illusions of dreams that never come true?
Am I going crazy living alone, hoping without a clue?

I wake with her still clasped inside my arms, do I open my
eyes or just ignore the alarms sounding off in my brain?
She is more of a presence that a wad of bedding could allow
her heart beats against mine, I would remain here forever
in the now. If I wake up and she is gone, how can I go on
knowing that reality has won, that I am still sleeping alone
doubting that she ever was real, that she was flesh and bone.
Can I go on believing, or just stay her knowing that one way
or another I am still deceiving myself that its truly her I feel
and not just another lie lying with Gwen making all my fears
delay, hoping that is not sunlight telling us that all good things
must end at the breaking of day.