PADIM 15: for my brother

Sometimes I feel your touch in the way the pictures tumble in place 
in the words that ebb and flow from my hand on the page
I can only wish that I had listened to you now when you told me
that it was time for me to go. 
Sometimes I hear you say my name out in the long night, sometimes
its like you are right beside me even though I know that we have just
had a fight over something neither of us did and I don't even know that
there was a reason for all those tears. Sometimes I feel like I have wasted 
so many many years,
Sometimes, the words fail me and only a brief sob can escape my lips 
it was supposed to be better than this, it was supposed to have been 
the best and all that it ended up was the worst of endings and now as
I stare out the window of this departing plane and find myself 
wishing that it would somehow manage to rain.
Sometimes, a movie can tell you everything that your life cannot 
sometimes you are left with chills and you remember that all was not
as dark as it seemed there on that spot, that things were not as nearly
as tough.
Sometimes I realize that I have not told you. Stephen, that I love you 
quite enough.