Lost in Translating a Thought

What I had wanted to say was that I did not hate being alone but that loneliness was nothing that
I had ever wanted to be found in, that my life has been in isolation longing, often secretly, just
to be with someone there to share the long silences in comfortable companionship.
Instead it came out like the cry of the desolation desperation that comes from being too alone for
far too long without the understanding of what the touch of another human being feels like and
all that comes in the multitude of impressions and feelings from the contact of human skin
on another's.
What I had wanted to express was that my needs meant more to me than this compulsion that some people have to sacrifice themselves- their very being in order to not feel alone while they are- in fact, alone even when they are in a crowd of people that on most days they would call friends as if liking
posts and selfies on Facebook would give them the validation that they were any better off than me.
Instead I just came across as judgmental and elitist and cold and aloof from everyone else seeming that I was really wanting to say that I needed no validation and that my own company would carry me through the wasteland that is what most of us call modern life where our collective isolation is a mask for our deep need to reach back to moments in our youth where we thought we belonged with people who understood us.
What I said was that I wanted to stay with you and never leave.
Not that I could not stand alone nor that I did not need you as much as I would love to need anyone
but I lost the thought in the translation of my hand reaching out to touch yours.