How pleasant to know Mr. Van,
who has written such posts and blogs
a curmudgeon disguised like a man
he really truly has gone to the dogs.
His mind is precise and sardonic
his nose is sensitively aware.
His vision can be socially hedonic
his beard reminds one of a bear.
He has 2 ears, 2 eyes and 8 fingers
at knitting he is totally thumbs.
Once he was one of the web slingers
now he just searches for crumbs.
He likes to take tea in the coffee bars
some cream and sugar or honey
He avoids staring at the passing cars
but always tips with monopoly money.
He has more friends out there on the net.
Poor Yorick is the name of his cat;
His body is solidly and stoically set
his bathroom has a welcome home mat.
He likes to take long walks out into the night
the children call him Great Uncle Gum
He speaks in riddles with such peevish delight
he loves his wit as a pirate loves his rum.
He cries during particularly bad movie plots
he weeps at show of poor English use
He is completely hopeless when playing slots
he shouts at the inhumanity of the music abuse!
He claims to speak Klingon and computerese
He's cannot abide a two door blue sedan
His googling is exact, he's always ready to please
How pleasant, indeed, to know Mr. Van!
who has written such posts and blogs
a curmudgeon disguised like a man
he really truly has gone to the dogs.
His mind is precise and sardonic
his nose is sensitively aware.
His vision can be socially hedonic
his beard reminds one of a bear.
He has 2 ears, 2 eyes and 8 fingers
at knitting he is totally thumbs.
Once he was one of the web slingers
now he just searches for crumbs.
He likes to take tea in the coffee bars
some cream and sugar or honey
He avoids staring at the passing cars
but always tips with monopoly money.
He has more friends out there on the net.
Poor Yorick is the name of his cat;
His body is solidly and stoically set
his bathroom has a welcome home mat.
He likes to take long walks out into the night
the children call him Great Uncle Gum
He speaks in riddles with such peevish delight
he loves his wit as a pirate loves his rum.
He cries during particularly bad movie plots
he weeps at show of poor English use
He is completely hopeless when playing slots
he shouts at the inhumanity of the music abuse!
He claims to speak Klingon and computerese
He's cannot abide a two door blue sedan
His googling is exact, he's always ready to please
How pleasant, indeed, to know Mr. Van!
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